What is bonding?
When experts talk about bonding, they're referring to the intense attachment you develop with your baby. It's the feeling that makes you want to shower them with love and affection, or throw lay your life down to protect them. Don't worry if you do not bond right away. Bonding often takes time and as long as you take care of your baby's basic needs and cuddle them regularly, they won't suffer if you don't feel a strong bond at first.
In the past, researchers thought it was crucial to spend a more time with your newborn during their first few days to establish a bond right away, but we now know that bonding can take place over time. Parents who are separated from their baby soon after delivery for medical reasons or who adopt their kids later in childhood also develop close, loving relationships.
What are the best ways to bond?
The parent-child bond strengthens over time through everyday caregiving. There's no magic formula, but there are a few things that can help the process.
Have skin-to-skin cuddle time. Human touch is soothing for both you and your baby, so hold them often and stroke them gently.
Talk and sing to them regularly, with your eyes looking into theirs and your face up close.
Play with them every day. Newborns can enjoy playtime as much as older babies. Your style of play may be different than your partner's, and that's okay. Your baby will love playing with both of you.
Carry your baby in a sling or front carrier on walks or as you go about your daily routine.
Read to your baby regularly and hold them close as you read.
Mirror their movements and echo their coos and other vocalizations. These are the first steps of communicating with them.
Talk to your baby throughout the day, at first it may seem like you're talking to yourself, but it will start to feel more natural the more you do it.
What if you continue to struggle to bond with your baby?
Let your healthcare provider know if you continue to feel distant from your baby, and if efforts to encourage your feelings of attachment don't seem to be working. It's possible that a mood disorder could be interfering with your ability to bond. Experts have recently begun to recognize that postpartum depression – a condition usually associated with new moms – can affect dads, too.
Up to 10 percent of new fathers develop paternal postpartum depression (paternal PPD), according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, other studies suggest that anywhere from 4 to 25 percent of new dads experience this condition, which usually occurs during the first three to six months after the baby is born. Ask your Doctor for a referral to a mental health professional right away if any of the following symptoms last longer than two weeks:
Loss of interest in activities
Significant weight gain or loss
Fatigue or loss of energy
Irritability
Indecisiveness
Impulsive or violent behavior
Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
Feeling severe anxiety, worthlessness, guilt
Inability to focus
Thoughts of harming yourself or others
Substance abuse
There's no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed about seeking help and treatment – it's the best move you can make for both you and your family.

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